Friday, September 02, 2011

Are You Living to Die or Dying to Live?

Having been awhile, I felt a strong need to talk. After a weekend visiting my grandparents in Chicago and other family, I was struck by the thought of life and goals.

Don't you ever wonder what your purpose is? What God's purpose is for your life?

I recently got engaged to the love of my life, my soulmate. And yet I say these words in a different way than I would have when I met him. The butterflies don't come in those statements. They are spock-like facts. Statements. Often if you pray for what you want, God will give you it (Matthew 7:7). You just better know what you want and then of course really want it.

My grandfather, barely grasping onto life's string himself, is taking care of my grandma who is fading fast. At mid-80s, they've lived a long time. So although there is sadness, it's just different. It's not the same sadness as when my friend Lynnsey Dawn Dennis died at age 23. She had just barely opened the door to God's purpose, or perhaps she lived out His purpose. I am not the one who knows.

Life is so short and yet often we despair about not getting what we want. Or whispering to ourselves to be patient. I believe God gives you the power to make life happen for yourself. If you want success, you make that success. Christians must also remember, that your success is not defined by the world (ie money). Our success lies in the fact that we make the world a better place. Sometimes, I forget that.

My twitter rants have sometimes crossed into that angry space that I'm not supposed to go. Even when someone who claims to be my brother or sister in Christ is spouting poison. I'm supposed to be Christlike. In these moments, I can remember what it was like for Jesus to walk among the Pharisees (Luke 14). Perhaps, that is my purpose. To know that anguish of people in power feeding lies to the crowds who desire hope in a desperate time.

Life isn't just work or play. It's your character. It's what you make of every moment of every day. I think this is how I reconcile being productive and balancing social media conversations. I don't want to live for death or believe I'm dying to live. I want to truly LIVE. The way God intended for me to live. And that will lead me to God's purpose for my life.

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