Sunday, August 14, 2005

I Want A Raccoon Tail

I don't know if many of you know anything about gaming, but I, myself, am an avid one. I have a mint condition Nintendo 8 bit and several games, as well as a PS2. Both I love dearly and for different reasons.

I hadn't played the Nintendo in like a year or so. So I fired it up on my Sony Wega flat-screen TV. (I do realize that there are emulators for Nintendo on the 'Net, but I didn't want to keyboard jump; it's just not the same as the non-ergonomic controller.)

After unsuccessfully remembering the final warp on Mario 1, I moved on to Tetris. And that song just starts annoying the hell out of me. So even if I'm actually doing well at it, this go 'round, that song just irritates the hell outta me. And I can't play with no music at all! So I switch over to Mario 3 and I was just remembering that games like that one are long. But this was before memory cards or saving power. (Ok, afficianados, I know you're gonna say "Final Fantasy 1" is saveable. Well, folks, that may be true, in theory. But if you got a Nintendo that blinks pink or scribbly the first, second, fifth, tenth time you push the cartridge in, then you know, that any saved game is forever lost on that stupid FF1. And how many times have you been about to go into the hole(with all the poisonous crap and a hella long forest walk to the Elven village left) sleep in a tent, then come out and save. You go to bed; it's about 4am, so you wanna get some rest before work; then you come home to play and you go through the drill of stuffing the cartridge in a million and one times and blowing, and the whole setup to get it to go -- and then you load 'er up. And your game is gone. You're back at the stupid castle hearing about the quest for crystals. Anyway, I obviously say this story with some authority and I do have a point.

So I pull out the Mario 3 cartridge. I wanna fly, and without owning a SuperNintendo, I can't be superman mario, so I'll take raccoon/bear tail flying Mario. Not quite as fun as floating around as the Princess and throwing carrots and goombas in Mario 2, but satisfactory to say the least.

I'm flyin' around. I've got my tail, I'm taking hits left and right. And remember this is the one that gives you so many extra guys it's crazy. Then you get to play slots every once in a while. I should be in Vegas betting on the Flower top, flower middle, flower bottom. Hell maybe even the star. I'd get an extra five lives anyway.

Anyway, I get fed up with the last few levels on world 2. So of course I use the flute to warp (the only way to play an unsaveable game) to world 5, where I do okay. Until I get to World 5-8 and get the crap beat out of my small mario who no longer has any powerups other than music box which can only be used on those damn hammer/boomerang brothers. No good here. So I run outta lives and let sleeping dogs lie. Besides it's midnight and I gotta work tomorrow.

And it's not Circa 1986 where school's the only thing going on tomorrow. I gotta actually function tomorrow. :) So to all the gamers I say goodnite. And to the rest o' yall too!


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