Thursday, March 15, 2012

Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines

Yes, I can. I don't just go here to write of sadness, which is fact. Upon the Ides of March, my last grandmother passed into the sunlight. Passed away from the pain, our earth.

I am sad for new reasons. I am to be wed and that is why I am sad, because one day I too will have to let him go.

For long I feared and was fascinated by love, its hypnotizing addiction creeping ever closer. I played often along that line, passing in and out. Fear holding me. Strangling love at its first blossom. And as time always dances by, fear ran away, faded. So love grew back, stronger than ever.

I can hold him in my arms as he can hold me in mine. Sometimes I loved him and sometimes he loved me. Sometimes becomes often begets always. And in that love we join forever. Not til death do us part, but even through death to resurrection do we never part. My soul and his, wrapped tightly together and yet each its own, standing firmly grounded, neither leaning.

That is why I cry. I cry for the day he or I have to stay on earth while the other returns to the side of Jesus. At that dark tunnel of light, I know how is it dark? Dark because he can't go with me, because for a brief moment, I will be alone.

For knowing everything isn't always possible. Faith relies on that.

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