Sunday, February 19, 2006

ISO Loving Campanion

I have finally given in to my destiny. I am about to embark on the adventure I knew was coming. I am starting my new life as "cat lady." As my love life has crumbled, my trust has been shattered, I have decided the only male worth having around is an adorable kitten. And I found him. (At least I hope they let me adopt it.)

Instead of elaborating on my recent downfall into depression, I'd rather talk about a new and bright future. Of hours of love and friendship. Of a destiny which was my own years ago, of which I am finally done denying.

I've lost my faith in human males towards non plutonic relationships. I've only seen a dark netherworld, where lies are truth. And truth is an unknown concept. And I'm so tired of the excuse "I didn't want to hurt your feelings." Bullshit I say.

You didn't want to hurt your own feelings. (Truth, but yet unacknowledged.)

But that is neither here nor there and the state of the union has changed. As if W has poisoned all of y'all.

But I digress (not unusual, just noticed).

I saw a sunset caress the ocean tonight. The crisp LosAngelian winter night lay chaste against a virgin sky. At least today it was. The air was breatheable, and in some places unusually so. Smog was but a myth and death was but a fleeting thought. As I drove in the startlingly bright sunshine, the future was bigger than it was just moments before.

My disappointment lies in wait though. Pondering the moment of pounce. Careful, not to be noticed in such clean thoughts. Eying its prey, only to crush my doomed heart and crack up the pieces, mulch them, into a fine powdered dust to be carried on a cold wintry breath.

I know it's there. It knows I know. And for now, we are in harmony.


Blogger grumblefish said...

Howdy, jTLC. Sounds like you're
hitting a bumpy patch ;-( I can't
answer for the guys in your life
specifically, but I can say that
they may be having as hard a time reconciling the realities of the
world, with the descriptions of
reality that they keep hearing. I have a cat and her kitten, neither
of whom seems to be troubled by their interpretations of the world,
such as it is. It wouldn't surprise
me if men and women started rearranging their priorities, and
decided to scrap pursuing some modern conveniences, in favor of
better personal relationships. I
know that real, flesh-and-blood
women are rarely the caricatures
seen in media fluff, but that and $0.89 only gets me a cup of coffee-
not any special insights about what
makes you tick. I'd guess that for
every 51 women, there are at 49 men
who are at least as puzzled about
why the hardware looks fine, but the software seems to crash a lot.
Man or woman, you get exactly one run through life, with no Reset key. The saving grace is that the
toughness of people cuts both ways-
we can hurt or be hurt, but we can also dust ourselves off and assess
what brought the system down, and
hopefully fix it. You're probably
starting in the right place, by
looking at personal relationships.
Everything else flows from there-
values, sense of self, appreciation
of others, the abilities to feel joy and pain.
Jeez, am I muscling in on dr Ruth?
I don't think you'll feel this way, given time to sift through things. Don't forget to ask what
else your guy's packing, besides
non-platonic- it's your life, and
there's more to it than that.

2/19/2006 10:26 PM  
Blogger Leese said...

I'm sure you have heard this before...but the minute you stop looking a man comes along. Honestly, it's a little weird. Just wait. It will happen. Plus, who wouldn't want to date a GREAT person like yourself?

2/20/2006 12:02 PM  
Blogger JadedTLC said...

Thank you both for your kind words. I do appreciate it. I was facing a tough week --- and your wisdom did follow me through.

2/23/2006 10:50 PM  

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