Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines

Yes, I can. I don't just go here to write of sadness, which is fact. Upon the Ides of March, my last grandmother passed into the sunlight. Passed away from the pain, our earth.

I am sad for new reasons. I am to be wed and that is why I am sad, because one day I too will have to let him go.

For long I feared and was fascinated by love, its hypnotizing addiction creeping ever closer. I played often along that line, passing in and out. Fear holding me. Strangling love at its first blossom. And as time always dances by, fear ran away, faded. So love grew back, stronger than ever.

I can hold him in my arms as he can hold me in mine. Sometimes I loved him and sometimes he loved me. Sometimes becomes often begets always. And in that love we join forever. Not til death do us part, but even through death to resurrection do we never part. My soul and his, wrapped tightly together and yet each its own, standing firmly grounded, neither leaning.

That is why I cry. I cry for the day he or I have to stay on earth while the other returns to the side of Jesus. At that dark tunnel of light, I know how is it dark? Dark because he can't go with me, because for a brief moment, I will be alone.

For knowing everything isn't always possible. Faith relies on that.

Are You Living to Die or Dying to Live?

Having been awhile, I felt a strong need to talk. After a weekend visiting my grandparents in Chicago and other family, I was struck by the thought of life and goals.

Don't you ever wonder what your purpose is? What God's purpose is for your life?

I recently got engaged to the love of my life, my soulmate. And yet I say these words in a different way than I would have when I met him. The butterflies don't come in those statements. They are spock-like facts. Statements. Often if you pray for what you want, God will give you it (Matthew 7:7). You just better know what you want and then of course really want it.

My grandfather, barely grasping onto life's string himself, is taking care of my grandma who is fading fast. At mid-80s, they've lived a long time. So although there is sadness, it's just different. It's not the same sadness as when my friend Lynnsey Dawn Dennis died at age 23. She had just barely opened the door to God's purpose, or perhaps she lived out His purpose. I am not the one who knows.

Life is so short and yet often we despair about not getting what we want. Or whispering to ourselves to be patient. I believe God gives you the power to make life happen for yourself. If you want success, you make that success. Christians must also remember, that your success is not defined by the world (ie money). Our success lies in the fact that we make the world a better place. Sometimes, I forget that.

My twitter rants have sometimes crossed into that angry space that I'm not supposed to go. Even when someone who claims to be my brother or sister in Christ is spouting poison. I'm supposed to be Christlike. In these moments, I can remember what it was like for Jesus to walk among the Pharisees (Luke 14). Perhaps, that is my purpose. To know that anguish of people in power feeding lies to the crowds who desire hope in a desperate time.

Life isn't just work or play. It's your character. It's what you make of every moment of every day. I think this is how I reconcile being productive and balancing social media conversations. I don't want to live for death or believe I'm dying to live. I want to truly LIVE. The way God intended for me to live. And that will lead me to God's purpose for my life.

Google News Cares About Social Media Shares

Last night on Twitter’s famous #seochat, we were discussing the impact of social media on search engine optimization. I have noticed in the past few months that not only does Google show a link with 5+ shares (or more), but that they often are ordered by number of shares.





When you click into the shared by x, you get a list of Google’s realtime results showing all the tweets that are sharing that article.



This is only on Google news today (January 2011); however, we all know that Google often uses microcosms to experiment with algorithm changes. I expect to see Real Time Shares may apply to more results (possibly videos in universal search) this year as they experiment with how to reflect the social graph in their SERPs.

Becky Jutzi is known as JadedTLC on Twitter, where she balances her days working on SEO at the video game blog, G4tv.com. Her favorite video game right now is AC Brotherhood.

Reputation Management Online - Tweets Gone Wild

I just read Michael Gray's article Interview with Steve Wyer. It was a good piece and it got me to thinking (a dangerous thing perhaps).

So, I decide to google my moniker just to see what Google had found about me. What I found was a little shocking. Apparently, a bunch of twitter "apps" have scraped, not only my content, but my entire profile and "created a profile" for me on their sites. Amplicate, and frax or something - there were many more as well.

Not to sound preachy but: You should be managing your online reputation. Many of you are not protecting your identities and with so much data out there and findable (thanks Google), you should be frightened.

My boyfriend was a bit disturbed last night when I illustrated just how easy it was to find information out. I have a possible job opportunity that emailed me to see if I was interested in the job. Of course, the email indicated the person's real name and I also know the company name. So, I started to track down the interviewer through LinkedIn which showed me (even without logging in) a history of companies and some websites that the person had started in this person's past. This was just a starting point. I learned even more about my potential interviewer - not just the professional stuff. It would seem we are creatures of habit.

I found a Twitter account, but the image was one with the person's pets. So, I saw that the person only tweeted a few times. Leaning this person away from "happening" media. But, this could be a coincidence; what's in a name even with a link to the company. So, I searched site:facebook for the person's name. Same avatar. I now knew I had hit pay dirt. My knowledge has now extended to what this person "Likes" - what groups were joined - all 84 friends of this person. Thanks to Facebook and its privacy (or lack thereof) or maybe in FB's defense: lack of education of it - I could now see this person's music interests, TV shows watched, hobbies, where this person last partied (in May).

But, ever more curious, I could now see where this person had lived and how old the person is. With a quick search at PeekYou and it's connection to people search, I saw the cities surrounding the person's college and a likely person with age included. And for $5.95 at Intellius, I could buy a simple record with phone number, birthday and more!

Does this scenario scare you? It should. I did this all within fifteen to twenty minutes. I have built an identity for someone I have never met. I haven't even emailed with this person. (An executive assistant emailed me, but stated the interviewer's name and title.)

I don't know if using Steve's ORM service is the answer. But, maybe we should start taking back our privacy, our individuality. It's like the world has become a scary small town and nothing you do is hidden. And everything you do is judged. Out of context. Like Shirley Sherrod, are you being taken out of context every time you apply for a job, contact a client, interact with a vendor?

Have you ever been taken out of context? Are you frightened at all the information that can be compiled about you?

SEO Scammers Revealed

I'm jumping on board to expose the idiots masquerading as SEO specialists like Edward does at pageoneresults. I logged into my old website's email. I haven't even been in that email in about 3 or 4 years. Not only am I in the US, but the web site doesn't even have a "business." I hate SEO spam, maybe even more than Viagra spam. So here I publish one of these idiots.

Hi
We are India’s leading and biggest search engine optimization and internet marketing company. We provide following services:
1. Link Building
2. SEO
3. Internet Marketing
4. Content Writing
5. Affiliate Marketing
6. Articles and Press Release Submission
7. Social Bookmarking


With our services, your site can get huge amount of traffic and sales, which can increase your business by many times. There is a great return of investment in online marketing strategies stated above. Let us know if you are interested and we will get back to you with a proposal that would improve sales of your company.
Please reply to this email so we can get back to you.

Sorry idiots. You don't know what you're talking about.

The Past Collides with the Present

You can never be sure how far the past is behind you. Things that were yesterday may be 100s of years past, and yet things from 10 years ago are alive and bump into you in the present. God smooths these wrinkles in the fabric of time for a reason.

I was driving along and an old friend, or at least someone I thought was my friend, was walking in a crosswalk in front of me. My surprise nestled in my head as I quickly switched my ipod to pause and rolled down the window.

"Hey M!" (name withheld) I shouted.

He turned and a smile lit up his face, as it always had. "Hey RJ." (name withheld) he called back. But he trudged forward. I meant to offer him a ride, to ask where he was going,

but I think subconsciously I remembered that I had friended him on Facebook and he hadn't accepted. I think it had to do with a long story from long ago. At least 5 years ago, probably more now. Something about a girl who likes control and me, fighting to keep myself in my own control. I made some poor choices and partied a bit too hard once and that seemed to end my friendship with her. If I didn't do things her way, I was out of her "it" club.

I don't think too hard about those days. I was on my way to figuring myself out. Where were my boundaries, what was I willing to do? The things and stuff of younger years. She wanted to own me, to rule my actions, and I failed to let that happen. And I drank one blue martini over the line of sanity, and felt responsible for everything thereafter. No apology was accepted and for me, I can't stay frozen in the past.

I liked a guy back then and was nervous about him driving up. It all seems so insane now, looking back. He's married most happily now (or so his Facebook says).

I have changed much since then. I've been living on my own for four almost five years. I have 3 cats. I've volunteered for animal rescues including the Westside German Shepherd rescue and the SoCal Siamese Rescue. I'm 2 jobs past that time, and several titles upward. I've grown in many ways and have managed to dig myself out of almost all of my debt.

I'm going to hold on to his smile. And I'll pocket it. Maybe if he's ready to be Christlike, he'll friend me on Facebook. But until God calls him to be a better man, I will continue on.